Once a child is identified as having learning difficulties, parents face key decisions. First, whether to accept the diagnosis; a second opinion is fine, but nothing can be done until parents accept the facts, since accommodations at home and school depend on it. Second, how to help. Some parents keep it secret or hope it will pass; others make it the center of family life. Both extremes backfire.
Special classes and therapy. Many parents resist special classes or therapy, feeling their child is being singled out. But in a regular class without help, these children are often teased, feel like failures, and may develop behavior problems or withdraw, sometimes refusing school. A child who understands that a difficulty can be overcome with proper treatment is more willing to cooperate and doesn't feel stupid. Hiding the truth from the child doesn't help; no one solves a problem they won't acknowledge.
Find the cause early. A psychologist uses tests and observation to determine whether the cause is emotional or physical; physical causes call for a neurologist or other specialist. The earlier the cause is found, the faster it can be addressed. Delay lets the problem worsen. The author describes a chain of falling self-esteem, dropping out, poor job prospects and choosing partners who reinforce feelings of worthlessness. Learning difficulties have nothing to do with intelligence, and only a professional can diagnose them or judge their severity; the number of symptoms isn't a measure of severity.
Common signs
- Directional confusion: trouble telling left from right (relevant after age 5). Adults often develop workarounds, like checking which wrist the watch is on.
- Trouble remembering sequences: the alphabet, months of the year, digits of a phone number in the correct order.
- Slow speech development: late talking, baby talk, lisping or trouble with certain sounds. An early speech delay may resurface later as a reading problem.
- Trouble telling time and sensing time: difficulty reading an analog clock, confusing before/after or early/late, lacking an internal sense of time. A five-minute warning before bedtime helps.
- Trouble expressing themselves: knowing what they want to say but not finding the words; may lash out physically in arguments; may read fine but struggle to answer questions about the text.
- Poor motor control: tripping, dropping catches, spilling. Tennis or swimming can help; fine motor skills are sometimes unaffected.
- Attention problems: short attention span, easily distracted. Provide a quiet homework spot facing a wall, away from windows and family traffic, plus concentration games.
- Hyperactivity: inability to stay seated. Treat it before the child's self-esteem suffers from adults' rejection; therapy can work very well.
- Poor reading: reading hard words but stumbling on short ones like "to" or "when"; reading well silently but poorly aloud; hiding the problem. Writing one word and finding another on the page can trigger intense frustration.
- Inability to copy accurately: errors even when copying from the board. Repetitive copying drills don't fix it; targeted therapy does.
- Poor spelling: difficulty remembering letter order and spelling (e.g., b vs. v in Spanish). Specific therapies and regular reading help.
- Trouble writing: fluent, articulate speakers who freeze when asked to write.
- Hostility and aggression: children who receive no help or understanding can become hostile, aggressive or withdrawn. Understanding parents and good therapy spare them the pain of failure and accusations of being lazy or distracted.