In 1949, the press welcomed television as something that would bring families together in one room. No one foresaw how it would erode family communication, multiply into several sets per home, reshape free time, affect children's social skills and contribute to violence.
Lost family rituals. In many homes the only shared moment is dinner, eaten in silence in front of the TV. Television has displaced the family rituals (meals, bedtime, weekends, vacations) through which families organize life together. Some parents send fighting siblings to watch TV instead of helping them resolve conflict, and unresolved sibling conflict builds resentment. Family members gradually become strangers; parents' only contact with children is correction and orders, so children stop listening and connect more with the screen. TV keeps everyone quiet and conflicts hidden, until a crisis such as dropping out or drug use reveals a problem that began years earlier.
"I'm bored"
When the TV goes off, many children don't know what to do. Television has replaced parents' effort to entertain and educate. Cutting screen time means parents must step in: the park, stories, board games, listening to a teenager's problems. Children who have spent all their free time watching TV need time to relearn imaginative play.
"My child doesn't talk, he just watches TV"
A mother worries that her three-year-old, who watches for hours, barely speaks and points instead. The author explains the brain's two hemispheres (left for logic, math and language; right for spatial, visual, creative and intuitive functions) and argues that heavy TV viewing in children just starting to talk may under-stimulate the left hemisphere and slow language and reasoning. Citing linguists such as Chomsky, she says two-year-olds need stimuli that demand a verbal response. TV is one-way communication that asks for no reply, encouraging verbal and logical passivity.
Television and play
Since television arrived, children explore, create and work toward goals less, and imagination has become poorer. Play pushes children to explore, discover strengths and preferences, enjoy, share and consider others' feelings. In front of the TV, a child is alone even among siblings, which fosters self-centeredness and intolerance of other children. Play makes the child invent situations and solutions; TV supplies them ready-made. TV captures curiosity only while the child is hooked, and dampens curiosity in everyday life.
Television and violence
The author cites an American Psychological Association report that the average American child has seen 8,000 murders and 100,000 other violent acts on TV by the end of elementary school, and that TV violence encourages children and teens to use aggression to solve conflicts. She notes networks air what audiences watch, so changing the channel sends a message.
What to do
- Choose which programs children watch and limit viewing to a maximum of about one hour a day.
- Spend more time talking and playing with them.
- Don't let caregivers park children in front of the TV so they "won't bother anyone."
- Keep board games (chess, backgammon, Monopoly-style games) on hand for indoor days.
Note: The book predates smartphones and tablets; the same reasoning applies to screens generally.